The Silent T'ai Chi Ch'uan Retreat
and Silent Meditation

Let t'ai chi relax the body,
Let silence relax the mind.

-Tom Krapu, Ph.D.

Shhh! Be Vewy Vewy Quiet, I'm Hunting for my Sanity!
Create Your Own Silent Retreat at Home

Ahh, peace and quiet, that's what you'll get at a silent retreat. Just you, alone with your inner thoughts. These retreats help the most frazzled individuals find their sanity again.

Jennifer O'Brien, like most college kids, had roommate troubles. The two had been tight friends until they moved in together, and then the relationship fell apart. The situation had become so strained that O'Brien had had enough. She was moving out and calling the friendship a loss.

But this is where O'Brien and most college kids differ. She got over it. The friendship was mended, and they're in tight again. O'Brien's secret? Keeping her mouth shut - literally -- for a week.

At a retreat called the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, keeping quiet wasn't such a difficult task. St. Ignatius, in Narragansett, Rhode Island, is one of many spiritual centers that offer silent retreats. Five days of silence and reflection cleared O'Brien's mind and eventually brought the friends back together.

"It gave me time away from her to reassess the situation and think about what was important," said O'Brien, now working as an account executive at Stern and Associates in Cranford, New Jersey. "It made me realize our difficulties were minimal in the grand scheme of things. Ultimately, it helped the two of us realize that we were good friends but couldn't live with each other. It saved our friendship."

Trappist monks and Quakers have known for centuries what took O'Brien a week to discover. Now, more people are realizing just how golden silence can be and they're checking in to silent retreats. These holidays in silence are widespread, and with good reason. Frazzled individuals everywhere have found them instrumental in dealing with a hectic life, coping with stress, staying well and generally prioritizing their lives.

Silent retreats last anywhere from hours to months, usually at secluded facilities far from the noise of everyday life. No books, radios, newspapers, conversations -- or even eye contact in some cases -- are allowed. Some retreats might be dogmatic in nature with a goal of deeper religious understanding, while others offer simply a way to get in touch with the inner self.

Most people sense the spiritual benefits of silence, but the benefits can also be physical. A study from Cornell University is one of many to link noise with stress. It measured the stress hormones in 40 female clerical workers exposed to office noise and found that adrenaline levels increased considerably in loud offices. The result was less efficient work and higher stress, and with that comes high blood pressure, a greater risk of heart disease and a multitude of other health problems.

Silence, by eliminating outside static, can put a damper on those physiological symptoms. "It stops the habit of thinking and the pace of thinking," says Tom Krapu, a St. Louis, Missouri-based psychologist and Personal/Corporate Coach who prescribes silence to his patients. He has been on or arranged nearly 10 silent retreats. "It gives them a deeper capacity to deal with life so they're not so wigged out or stressed."

Angelyn Toth, the founder of Xenia silent retreat at Bowen Island, British Columbia, says she can see the physical transformation of her attendees. Dark smudges beneath eyes begin to disappear, frown lines soften and "towards the end you see them walking around in bliss."

The road to silence can also be painful. When all the outside chatter begins to simmer down, the internal dialog is amplified. As a result, repressed thoughts or memories can come boiling up.

"A lot of people often block their emotions through alcohol and work," Toth explains. "As they start to be quiet, they feel all that pain and sadness."

Krapu says that some people in particular should stay away from silent retreats. "People who are going through major life transitions shouldn't sign up. Those going through a divorce, for instance, need people to talk to. They need support from their family," he says.

It's not recommended for those with major psychiatric disorders or emotional problems either. "It can be isolating," Krapu says. "Most people feel little touches of being lonely, but if you have a serious emotional problem, that might stir stuff up. The goal isn't to stir all this stuff up so you need to be in psychotherapy for three months. You should be in a better place at the end of the retreat."

For the most part, people are in a better place. O'Brien says she felt like a new person after the St. Ignatius retreat and decided to go because she'd heard so many positive comments about the experience. Toth says the people at Xenia report feeling reborn and at peace, and that's what's kept Krapu interested in meditation and silence since 1972.

Inner stillness is the ultimate goal of noise deprivation, but many find it unnerving at first. The deluge of sounds throughout the day has been a constant since birth, and it can be unsettling when suddenly replaced by a rich, thick silence. The silence offers the opportunity to turn your awareness inward. What's then discovered might be painful, in either a figurative or literal sense. Aches and pains that have been forced out of mind are brought to the forefront, and lost memories have nothing to do but float back.

The trick is to stick with it.

"It is my experience that in complete external silence it takes at least two full days before my mind begins to slow down, relax and really start to experience glimpses of the silence within," says Krapu.

About the author: Monique Cuvelier is a journalist and author who has covered health, culture and travel for dozens of publications, including Psychology Today and Time Out. Quiet contemplation keeps her sane and, she hopes, slows down premature graying.

Not everyone has the opportunity to cloister themselves for days at a time for silence's sake. But since quiet is easy, harmless, free, doesn't involve drugs and has no harmful side effects, you can easily recreate the experience at home. Start with 10 or 15 minutes and work up to longer periods once you find what works for you. Meanwhile, here are some tips to create some quiet contemplation.

• Turn off the stereo, unplug the phone, mute ticking clocks and put the dog outside.
  
• Pick up a relaxation tape from the library or sign up for yoga or tai chi -- all of which instigate silence.
  
• Borrow a friend's unused cabin or beach house and go there by yourself. Restrict yourself from watching TV or reading books.
  
• Turn off your radio on your morning commute.
  
• Set your alarm to go off early and lie in bed to soak in early morning silence.
  
• Spend a few minutes focusing on your breathing, making your inhalation as slow as your exhalation.

LOOK FOR A SILENT
RETREAT NEAR YOU

Silent T'ai Chi Ch'uan Retreat
For practioners of the CMC Yang Family Form

Xenia
Bowen Island, BC
Canada
(604) 947-9816
www.xeniacentre.com

Santa Sabina Center
San Rafael, CA
(415) 457-7727
[email protected]

East Mountain Retreat Center
Great Barrington, MA
(413) 528-6617
[email protected]



Cenacle Retreat House and Spirituality Center
Warrenville, IL
(800) 240-6702
[email protected]

Dr. Krapu's notes for the interview above:

Silence is an incredibly powerful force in our life and almost impossible to access in our modern life. It is my experience that in complete external silence it takes at least 2 full days before my MIND begins to slow down, relax and really start to experience glimpses of the "silence within".

Considerations:

• Structure of weekend MUST include proper orientation prior to the retreat and debriefing afterward.
  
• The structure must be simple enough to follow so that verbal instructions are not necessary. A simple schedule will usually suffice.
  
• Non-verbal means need to be available for participants to communicate problems or issues with the retreat leader(s) and or facility. This includes a policy for participants to communicate non-attendance of scheduled retreat events. My rule of thumb is for people to let me know in writing during the retreat if they will miss more than ONE consecutive scheduled event.
• My personal belief is that ALL scheduled events should be optional so people can take more time for themselves if they feel they need/want it.
  
  Important issues to think about prior to the retreat.
  

Why do I want to "try" silence? What do I want to get out of it?

Do you want to bring any audio sources (portable walkman with headphones to listen to music in your room), or do you want to try to maintain complete silence for the entire workshop? Same thing for reading materials. Reading materials are not conducive to mental quietness. If you have any questions about these things, bring the CD's and or books in case you want them during the weekend, sometimes they serve as a "security blanket".

Contraindications: Silent retreats are probably not appropriate for people who are currently going through a major life change and are in crisis. At THOSE times, it is probably better to have a retreat where you can talk to people. Also, careful consideration and planning should take place if someone taking an extended silent retreat has a major psychiatric disorder. If appropriate, ask your doctor.

T'ai Chi related materials:
About a month before the retreat you probably want to start standing some in "Wu Chi" posture every day. If you could stand in that posture some each day, it will prepare you for the extended standing we will do on the retreat (and you will get a lot more out of the retreat). If possible you should work up to about 5 minutes per day two weeks prior to the retreat, and at least 10 minutes a day the week prior to the retreat.

© 2002, Thomas M. Krapu, Ph.D., All rights reserved.

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